Manipulating Kids

Annie's Log, 12/8/15:

It's shocking how easy it is to manipulate kids. I realize that that's kind of a worrisome phrase, but I'm prepared to elaborate quite a bit, so bear with me.

Every real job I've ever had has involved me working directly with kids. I was a referee for U12 soccer for a little while in high school. I worked at a daycare when I was 18 with kids aged 1 to 3. And I have worked as a camp counselor for many, many kids in different types of camps. Now, I work at a public library, and deal with kids every time I go into work I see kids running around in the children's area. Even though I'm not directly working with the kids (I stand behind a desk that's too tall for most of them to see over), I still interact with them quite a bit.

On Saturday, I saw a LOT of kids. You see, SANTA was coming to do musical storytime. Yes, THE Santa Claus. And let me tell you, some of the kids were PUMPED.

There was more happening at the library, though: there was a massive book sale in the very intimidating basement (it's giant and dark and scares me a little bit), a few different holiday workshops where people came in to make Christmas gifts, and, more relevant to this story, a bake sale.

The bake sale was set up right next to the front doors so it was the first thing you saw when you walked in. Three tables covered in homemade cookies and cupcakes and pies and stuff, all decorated festively and sold to benefit the library.

So we had a bunch of kids who were super excited to see Santa, who HAD to walk past a table full of sweet stuff. Can you see where this is going?

I'd say that on Saturday, at least half of the sales at at the bake sale were thanks to kids begging their parents to buy them something either on the way to or on the way from seeing Santa. And you know that wasn't an accident. The bake sale tables were totally set up so that there was no way to avoid it.

Sure, this was standard practice meant to get people of all ages to buy stuff, but, by God, it worked on every single kid who walked through those doors on Saturday. Good Lord, they all wanted stuff. Their eyes got as big as saucers and it was all we could do to keep them from actively grabbing and shoving things into their mouths.

And most of the parents bought stuff for their kids. Because it's one thing when your child wants a candy bar in the checkout line at the grocery store, but it's completely different when there's a table at child eye-level covered in festive treats like the kind that we make for Santa, and buying those treats gives money to the library.

So the kids were easy to manipulate with the candy and stuff.

But there was also Santa.

I heard so many parents threaten so many kids who were crazy excited to see Santa and so were bouncing off the walls and not really behaving with NOT getting to see Santa. And it worked on just about every kid. Because Santa is worth keeping your hands to yourself and not pulling stuff off the shelves and not hitting your sister and whatever.

Boom.

As an aside, it was incredibly stressful for ME to be expecting Santa at the library. I was told by my boss (in whispers, so that no one would overhear), that Santa was coming soon, and that I should come get her when he walked in so that she could take him to the back where he could get ready and could keep out of sight and stuff. The problem was, I didn't actually know when he was coming.

So I work at a public library. Public libraries are pretty popular with older, retired citizens who spend a lot of time reading and watching movies and getting help with their technology. That means that there is a pretty constant influx of older gentlemen at the library. Many of them are somewhat portly. Many of them have beards.

Do you see the problem here? My coworker and I were told that Santa was coming, but we didn't know which Santa-looking guy was supposed to play Santa. There were at least 6 men who came in who could have been Santa. And we couldn't ask them if they were here to be Santa. Because, geez, imagine asking some guy who came in to pick up his wife's books, "Excuse me, are you Santa? Yes, I'm serious. No? Ok, no, wait, please don't report me to my boss..."

Anyway, kids were easy to manipulate thanks to the jolly elf man who breaks into our homes to bring us stuff when it's cold outside.

And now we come to my role in all of this. I don't work directly with the kids anymore, but I do have one thing behind my very tall desk that allows me to express complete control over them.

Stickers.

I have stickers that I can use to bend children to my will.

Wait, that sounds bad.

What I mean is that kids will do anything for a sticker. There was one mother who was checking out about forty picture books for her rambunctious toddler. This little girl, Nadia, would not stay still. She ran all over the place while the mom was trying to deal with the books and her child and her ringing cell phone. At one point, Nadia actually made it all the way to the parking lot (I couldn't see the small child because I was behind the desk or I would have said something).

After being retrieved from the parking lot, I offered Nadia's mother what little help I could: I asked if a sticker would motivate her to stay in one place.

And wouldn't'cha know it: it did. The prospect of getting a sticker kept this hyperactive toddler in one place when threats and pleading and stern reprimands wouldn't.

Kids are easy to manipulate with stickers.

Of course, the same could be said for me. Or my dad. Or any number of people who like stickers. But with kids its something completely different. It's actually one of my favorite parts of the job-handing out stickers, that is. It's nice, and I don't usually have to use stickers to manipulate them.

But I guess it's nice to have in my arsenal.

End log.